The Brutal World of Mr. Trump

So, I finally got a job offer yesterday. In fact, I recieved two. I should have been extremely happy, but instead, it depressed me greatly. Neither job, I think, would actually support me and allow for survivial without some major tweaking. I did a lot of bugeting yesterday, because I will accept one of the two jobs if I do not obtain a position at my only other current possibility.

It is not to say there will not be more possibilities, but I need money and a home now, no matter what. I was really hoping for money and a home that would not require Scrooge like budget woes and more draconic money hoarding, but that does not seem to be in my future. For now, it seems that I will have to live from paycheck to paycheck without ever having fun. Still, to get out of this house ...

At any rate, I thought I would put up my calculations so everyone else could offer advice or sympathy.

Basic Needs:

Rent -- $415-$550
Car Insurance -- $78-$178
Food -- $150
Phone -- $10-$20 (landline), $50 (cell)
Cable/Internet: $50 (so say most deals)
Utilities: $75-$100

Now, if I make 9.90 an hour, that comes out to about 18,000 a year. According to the IRS, I will be taxed at 15%. This comes down to $237 a month, so instead of making $1,584 a month, it will be $1,347 a month.

So, if I am foolish, and take all my most expensive options, I will be spending $1,100 a month, allowing me to bank a measely $247 dollars. However, in October, when debt comes due, all of that will go to Sallie Mae. Leaving me with nothing.

But what if I take the cheapest option of everything? Then I will spend about $755 dollars a month, until October, when it would increase to $955 dollars a month. This leaves me about $400 for spending purposes, but not enough to spend and save, not really.

Of course, if I am lucky enough to land this Cheese Company position, I will make $11 an hour, which comes out to $21,600 a year, and $1,800 a month. With taxes, I would bring home $1,500 a month, which is still sucky, leaving me with about $500-$600 dollars to spend, if I live in the suckiest parts of town and get subpar insurance.

I don't know. I wish there was a quick and easy way to make money, so I wouldn't have to spend all my time worried about money. I'm tired. I've been stressed for nearly two years straight. Not mildly stressed, but really worried. I have to take sleeping pills sometimes, and rather than looking forward to the fun stuff I do, I have to remind myself the reason why I'm doing is because it is fun.

I have fun during things like movies, or gaming sessions, or outings, but I don't forsee fun anymore. I don't look forward to anything. And it's getting to the point where they do not always distract me, either. This is isn't like worrying about getting into graduate school, it's worrying about survival. To live, not even happily, you need money. Money that I don't seem to have ...

God, I was naive. I should have gone to trade school.

Now, I just seriously consider donating my eggs. At this point, it would be worth the future regret and guilt.